Arguably the most important part of this project for me was meeting my surrogate, Jill.
After getting her contact details from my dad I reached out to her to arrange a date to meet. Jill was staying with her sister for a week at the beginning of November so we agreed I would travel down to Midhurst.
It was a long journey from Bournemouth, due to storm Ciaran the night before, but to talk to your surrogate for the first time and hear her surrogacy journey was extremely eye opening.
Jill gave birth to me and my brother via traditional surrogacy after my first mother’s battle with ovarian cancer. It was Gaynor who researched surrogacy and found Jill via COTS agency.
Jill had given birth to 10 children over the course of her ‘surrogacy journey’. Seven via traditional and three via gestational surrogacy. Her last surrogacy being twins.
My only real memory of Jill was during my early childhood. I would’ve been only 6 or 7 at the time and as I turned on the television there she was, where she appeared to be arguing with someone.
“I don't argue, that's not what it was. I could have defended it. I’m passionate. I knew what I was talking about, and they didn't because they hadn't gone through it. You always have people against it. It's not natural, I suppose. Maybe in biblical times but not nowadays. Some things just don't work for couples, and it is their only chance. My argument was, in the couple the man is always the father. Okay the woman isn’t but I always thought she's allowing someone that she didn't really know, until going through surrogacy, to carry her husband's baby. How hard must that be and you're moaning about me giving a baby up.
“How strong does that woman (the intended mother) have to be because there must be sense of guilt and failure because they can't have baby and they really want one. Then to accept that and love that baby as their own. It’s a wonderful thing. I was in awe of these women really because it's very hard.” Jill said.
Jill lives in County Durham now with her cats but I hope to meet up with her again at some point next year.
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